Suffering in Silence
Suffering: the state of undergoing pain, distress, or hardship.
Silence: cause to become silent, prohibit or prevent from speaking.
You are suffering. You are silent about it. You are suffering in silence. Why?
I often find myself falling into this category.
My reasoning have been:
I don't want to be a complainer.
I don't want to be a burden to anyone.
I don't want to bring others down.
I don't want to be a downer.
I don't want to spread discouragement.
I don't want others to feel sorry for me.
An article on "Psychology Today" by Karen Kleiman entitled "10 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Suffer in Silence." sheds some light on why we shouldn't suffer in silence:
1) It prolongs your suffering. You are less likely to get the help you need if you withhold vital information, such as symptoms or concerns.
2) It reinforces your symptoms. Resistance creates persistence.
3) It highlights your isolation. Secluding yourself from those who can help you may be your preference but it is not in your best interest.
4) It intensifies your negative thoughts. The less you let others know how you feel, the more likely you are to ruminate and allow your inner critical voice spin in your head.
5) It thwarts healing. Social contact, soothing hugs, reassuring voices, eye-contact from someone you love.
6) It delays treatment. You may hope that this goes away on its own, but if you wait too long, your symptoms may become harder to treat.
7) It perpetuates stigma. By retreating, you paradoxically maintain the value of not disclosing --thereby enabling health care providers to get away with not asking the right questions and not taking the appropriate steps.
8) It is not being true to yourself. You owe it to yourself to acknowledge what is going on and find the courage to ask for help from people you trust.
9) It establishes a bad precedent for your marriage. If you are not good at communicating how you REALLY feel, it’s time to learn now.Your marriage will prosper in the long run. (Note: or any close relationships you may have with family and Friends)
10) It heightens your mistaken belief that no one can help you and that you are alone with this battle. This is not true.What reasons resonate with you?
Sometimes it feels easier to remain in the silence. I encourage you if you are suffering in silence that you:
1. Ask God for help.
2. Cry out to God (lament) Tell Him all your true feelings. (He already knows!)
2. Reach out to family and friends
3. Ask others for prayer.
4. Talk to a person you can trust.
5. Be your own Advocate.
6. Call your doctor's office. (Ask to leave a message with your Doctors Nurse).
7. Be kind to yourself.
8. Journal your thoughts and what is going on in your life.
9. Take some down time to rest, regroup and evaluate what your needs are.
10. Remember You are not alone and that things are eventually going to change
Why do we try to suck it up and do it on our own. Be strong, be tough. We try to ignore it. Don't acknowledge it. Don't deal with it. Try to push through it.
The truth is we are not strong enough. We need help. We need God. We need God's strength. We need Community. We need each other!
What I want to be:
Be an encourager
Be an Inspiration to others
Your suffering could possibly be what God will use in the future to help and encourage others.
Join the Conversation
Are you suffering in Silence? What are other ways we can break the silence of our suffering?
Love and Prayers ❤
He is faithful.
, Karen. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/isnt-what-i-expected/201308/10-reasons-why-you-should-not-suffer-in-silence-0