"Sunny Storm"
When people ask how I am feeling I never know what to say. If it's a quick greeting I just reply with a "good" or "okay" but when someone is truly asking, I'm never sure what to share or not to share.
I have been trying to articulate and put into words how I am truly doing for years. Up to this point the only other thing I can think to say is that "I'm hanging in there." Over the past year as things have progressed I have recently been saying that my life is like an oxymoron to my close friends who ask. I say this because I'm doing really good but I'm also doing really really bad. That's why I feel like it is an oxymoron because I cycle through life is good to life is really really hard and back again.
My husband and I for my 40th Birthday ended up over at the Beach. Our first stop in Lincoln City was at Roads End. When we first saw the ocean we were in awe of how big the waves were. We ventured on and sat and watched at the beach by "The Sand Castle" Motel. The waves were GINORMOUS! We kept saying that it was like a storm with out the rain! At our next stop, Boiler Bay we were in for a real treat! Bigger waves. Waves so big they were crashing up on the rocks and cascading over the viewing area. Wow!
God often speaks to me through moments such as this. The ocean showing up in His glory. It's as if God was speaking and saying that He sees the pain, and the holding on each day and the difficulty dealing with not being able to walk or move at times. The stiffness and all the pain. He sees the frustration of being laid up in bed and having to put things on hold when not feeling good. He sees the sadness that accompanies the severity of symptoms and the isolation on home bound days. At the same time He is working in me, He is revealing himself to me, He is teaching me through His Word and He is showing up in my life. He is with me.
This experience was such a gift! I received an answer to a mystery in my life.
The answer to how I can possibly be doing really good and doing really bad all at the same time. The waves were huge and crashing on the rocks. The water looked as if it was being picked up and dropped within each wave. You could see the mist of the huge waves as they turned over. The waves were being churned and stirred. All at the same time the Sun was shinning brightly down on the sea. I could hardly contain what my eyes were seeing. My heart was full and I was in awe of the answer being given to me in this beauty. We were awe struck.
We live our life. We have pain. We have hardships, We have sorrow. We have grief. We have questions and unanswered cares and worries. We hold on. We take one day at time. We persevere. No one is exempt. We walk through dark times, We walk through the unknown. Just like the waves we feel like we are being tossed and stirred and things are crashing all around us. The storms of life happen but we can have joy and peace and come through on the other side not defeated.
How can this happen? How can this be a thing? This is beyond human understanding (Philippians 4:7). It is because we have the Father of all Creation watching us and wanting to shine down on us just as the sun was brilliantly shining down on the waves crashing over and onto the rocks (James 1:17, John 8:12). He is El Roi. "The God who sees me". This is one of God's names and describes His character. He sees and knows all. That is why we can trust Him with every detail of our life because He already knows and sees everything.
He is also available to give us His grace in our weaknesses (2 Corinthians 12:9-10) I have experienced God's grace over and over in my healing journey. He continually gives me His grace to make it through the cycle of symptoms and to still trust Him and have joy in my life. He also gives me grace to have periods of time to do the things that bring me joy.
Jesus even warns us about the storms of life. He promises to equip us and has given us the Holy Spirit to experience His love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control in the midst of the hard (Galatians 5: 22-23) We just have to ask the Lord to be a part of our life journey (Romans 10:9-10). We grow and our faith grows in the hard times. Our Testimony of God's faithfulness also grows as we persevere and make it through each day.
This is my prayer for you:
I encourage you if you are walking through a tough situation or a tough life to call out to God for strength. He is faithful. He didn't pull you from the river to drown you in the sea. God has a plan for your life and will give you His strength to make it through whatever you face. (Jeremiah 29:11). He gives grace and strength and joy in your inner being to keep going and persevering despite how bad things get. Even in the midst of the storm hence why I can be doing really good and really bad all at the same time. He is the one holding me together, it is Him not me. I am experiencing this every day and through each week as I cycle through the severe symptoms to my normal and back again. I can testify that God gives me the grace to enjoy life even in the midst of suffering. My Healing Journey story has definitely been a Sunny Storm and I am extremely thankful for the Lord's presence in my life.
I will leave you with a little video of some of the clips my Husband and I took. Enjoy!
Love and Prayers ❤
-Amber
I have been trying to articulate and put into words how I am truly doing for years. Up to this point the only other thing I can think to say is that "I'm hanging in there." Over the past year as things have progressed I have recently been saying that my life is like an oxymoron to my close friends who ask. I say this because I'm doing really good but I'm also doing really really bad. That's why I feel like it is an oxymoron because I cycle through life is good to life is really really hard and back again.
My husband and I for my 40th Birthday ended up over at the Beach. Our first stop in Lincoln City was at Roads End. When we first saw the ocean we were in awe of how big the waves were. We ventured on and sat and watched at the beach by "The Sand Castle" Motel. The waves were GINORMOUS! We kept saying that it was like a storm with out the rain! At our next stop, Boiler Bay we were in for a real treat! Bigger waves. Waves so big they were crashing up on the rocks and cascading over the viewing area. Wow!
God often speaks to me through moments such as this. The ocean showing up in His glory. It's as if God was speaking and saying that He sees the pain, and the holding on each day and the difficulty dealing with not being able to walk or move at times. The stiffness and all the pain. He sees the frustration of being laid up in bed and having to put things on hold when not feeling good. He sees the sadness that accompanies the severity of symptoms and the isolation on home bound days. At the same time He is working in me, He is revealing himself to me, He is teaching me through His Word and He is showing up in my life. He is with me.
This experience was such a gift! I received an answer to a mystery in my life.
"A Sunny Storm"
We live our life. We have pain. We have hardships, We have sorrow. We have grief. We have questions and unanswered cares and worries. We hold on. We take one day at time. We persevere. No one is exempt. We walk through dark times, We walk through the unknown. Just like the waves we feel like we are being tossed and stirred and things are crashing all around us. The storms of life happen but we can have joy and peace and come through on the other side not defeated.
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| This also sums up my life journey! |
How can this happen? How can this be a thing? This is beyond human understanding (Philippians 4:7). It is because we have the Father of all Creation watching us and wanting to shine down on us just as the sun was brilliantly shining down on the waves crashing over and onto the rocks (James 1:17, John 8:12). He is El Roi. "The God who sees me". This is one of God's names and describes His character. He sees and knows all. That is why we can trust Him with every detail of our life because He already knows and sees everything.
She [Hagar] gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.” That is why the well was called Beer Lahai Roi [the “well of the Living One who sees me”]. —Genesis 16:13-14Not only does He see us but God is available to us to be our strength to make it through this life. (Isaiah 40: 29-31, Psalm 22:19, Psalm 28:7-8, Psalm 46:1, Philippians 4:13) There are so many wonderful Bible verses on strength, I highly recommend taking the time to click on the verses and read them. There are many more but theses are some of my favorites.
He is also available to give us His grace in our weaknesses (2 Corinthians 12:9-10) I have experienced God's grace over and over in my healing journey. He continually gives me His grace to make it through the cycle of symptoms and to still trust Him and have joy in my life. He also gives me grace to have periods of time to do the things that bring me joy.
Jesus even warns us about the storms of life. He promises to equip us and has given us the Holy Spirit to experience His love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control in the midst of the hard (Galatians 5: 22-23) We just have to ask the Lord to be a part of our life journey (Romans 10:9-10). We grow and our faith grows in the hard times. Our Testimony of God's faithfulness also grows as we persevere and make it through each day.
I encourage you if you are walking through a tough situation or a tough life to call out to God for strength. He is faithful. He didn't pull you from the river to drown you in the sea. God has a plan for your life and will give you His strength to make it through whatever you face. (Jeremiah 29:11). He gives grace and strength and joy in your inner being to keep going and persevering despite how bad things get. Even in the midst of the storm hence why I can be doing really good and really bad all at the same time. He is the one holding me together, it is Him not me. I am experiencing this every day and through each week as I cycle through the severe symptoms to my normal and back again. I can testify that God gives me the grace to enjoy life even in the midst of suffering. My Healing Journey story has definitely been a Sunny Storm and I am extremely thankful for the Lord's presence in my life.
I will leave you with a little video of some of the clips my Husband and I took. Enjoy!
Thank you Lord for the best Birthday gift!
-Amber
This was a very powerful post and touched me deeply. Although, I do not share the same faith as you I can see the beauty in your faith. I also can so relate to "the message" you were given. Sometimes when things are really bad, we have to look to our faith for the strength to keep going. Thank you and gently hugs.
ReplyDeleteThank you for taking the time to read it. Yes, faith is a powerful thing.
DeleteThat was a wonderful birthday gift!! God is so good to us!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Yes, He is so faithful!
DeleteFrom Magical Moment Maker
DeleteBeautiful analogy. Great that you could see and feel and hear Gods message all at the same time. That was a BIG message and complicated to convey but you got it! And then you shared it with us.....priceless ❤❤❤
Thank you! I didnt even understand the full experience until I was writing it all out and it all came together. ❤
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